April 3, 2011

Have you really seen the light? The light is a bright and magical place. It's the shine of the day and the dark of the night all in one space. It's the wondering smiles of children when they are 5 years old. It's the pancakes that wake you up in the morning even before the smell of fresh coffee. A piece of priceless artwork. It's the most perfect piece of chicken that you've ever tasted. The smell of chamomile tea. The burnt edges of coconut on a frosty coconut cream cake. The warmth of the sun. I don't see the light like I used to. It's not as bright as it used to be. It's not even magical anymore. It's just kinda' there. It seems to me to be growing dimmer by the day. The underdogs never win and I only hear the screaming of the 5-year- olds. The pancakes have no smiling faces and the coffee is as cold as ice. The art we call art is not art at all. I really don't know what to call it. All the chickens taste the same and the tea of chamomile is an endless pot of emptiness. The coconut has no texture and is a soggy mess. The warmth of the sun? What does that mean? It seems to me to be in the sky: either an oven waiting to turn itself off or a freezer stuck on autopilot. My coffee pot is full of holes. The more coffee I understand, the less I drink. My heart that feeds my body is leaking badly. There is no concern or understanding of the human soul. The books that I were told to read were all just a bunch of lies. The hard work that I endured as a child and into adulthood was just a reality check of lying turned into the truth. Power is a terrible game in this world of life today. You either have it or you don't. My understanding of life is a fall from grace. My grace is only heard to me in words of faith as I sit for my daily meals. To speak of myself, I have no grace or gracefulness at all. My walking line is no straight and narrow. In all honesty, I just want to make it to tomorrow. I couldn't walk a straight line if you paid me. Just give me some guidance. A way of life to understand. Drinking all that coffee has made my way of thinking a bitter after taste. Give me some cream and maybe even a little sugar to sweeten my thoughts. Here's to my next cup of coffee.